"Uhhhh, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Uhhhhh, we are approaching the Rocky Mountains at about 10,000 feet. As you know, the Rockies are over 14,000 feet tall, but we're out of fuel so we won't be able to climb any higher and there's no chance of turning around. But don't worry! We've hidden five golden parachutes throughout the plane. Best of luck to you all"
So then the pilot and co-pilot are laughing their heads off as they listen to the mayhem behind them. Decent people turn into mad men as the scene turns into a twisted version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; an old woman starts beating you with her cane, a small child starts gnawing on your ankle. Finally, you pull a golden parachute out of the clutches of the person in front of you and jump out the door.
Just as you're thinking that you're home-free, you hear that dreaded song begin far above you, but slowly approaching "Ooompa, loompa, duppity dee..." You look up and your heart freezes in terror within you as you see an orange little man with green hair and white overalls holding a bowie knife and singing about how you looked too long at the attractive flight attendant and complained too loudly about the lack of recline in your reclining seat as he slowly approaches with his own parachute.
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